Bromance

Christian has a man-crush.

It's not on some Hollywood hunk, either. Though I kind of wish it were. If the object of his manly affections were, say, Matthew McConaughey or Ryan Reynolds, it would make my petition for a good romantic comedy every now and then much easier.

No. The Adam's apple of his eye is...the delivery man from the Italian dive down the road. Yep. A flighty little 5'5" guy with smoker's teeth and an unkempt black beard that merges seamlessly with his nose hairs. I don't know his name, but we'll call him Aldo.

We ordered delivery last night and Christian called to place the order. At one point, he points to the phone and mouths to me, "It's my man!" Every time Aldo arrives with our food, Christian anxiously opens the door and attempts to engage the poor fellow in some form of small talk. Last night's topic was the luggage carrier sitting on our front porch. One time it was my Volkswagen Beetle...usually, it's the dog.

After the food and the receipts have been exchanged, the delivery always ends with Christian saying, "I'll see ya next time, man." EVERY time. In the frenzy of Christmas preparations last year, when we ordered delivery on December 23, he even added, "Hey, if I don't see you before Christmas, have a good one." What?? IF you don't see him before Christmas, which is in TWO days?! I'm still not completely convinced that Christian didn't slip the guy a Christmas gift with his tip that night.

I suppose in his defense I should add that, since we've moved here, Christian has worked from home. More than once, he's complained about how he wishes he had more friends in the area and how it's pretty much impossible to meet people from our attic. This usually leads to my telling him to make more of an effort. Well...maybe ordering delivery IS his effort. Maybe Christian is hoping for a time when Aldo pulls into our driveway, not to deliver his cheeseburger and fries (which he orders every time, even though it's an authentic Italian restaurant), but to get him for a game of basketball or a round of paintball or a beer after work.

I suppose it's possible. I've acquired friends under stranger circumstances. And, unfortunately, Christian's befriending Aldo is probably more likely than the chances Matt or Ryan will someday pop in to play some Resident Evil on the wii.